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NBC News
LEXINGTON -- Lois Hayes sat at her wooden desk and pulled out something resembling a recipe box. She took off the lid, revealing notecards filled with dates – divided by month and by day: the birthdays of her former students.
Hayes, 66, has mailed nearly 400 handwritten birthday cards to her students for the past 20 years from her home in Lexington, Miss.
It has become a weekly ritual. Using a lapboard, Hayes sits on her living room recliner, squinting through her glasses while composing notes in large, cursive handwriting.
“When I retired, I really was afraid we would not be able to send cards anymore,” Hayes told NBC News. “I buy the cards by the box and it has never been a problem, coming up with the postage or buying the cards. The Lord has provided for us, so it has been a joy to be able to do it.”
After her four children got older, she realized that she should be recognizing her students’ birthdays – not just those of her close friends. Hayes wanted her students to know that they were special and that she was thinking about them. For her, sending handwritten cards felt like “a calling.”
“It brings back memories to think of them, and what they were like when I taught them,” said Hayes who retired five years ago.
NBC News
And it brings back memories for her students too.
Jessica Donald, 28, and her sisters Sara Sanders, 29, and Laura Shrock, 25, all had Hayes as their second grade schoolteacher.
“I remember her being always a very caring teacher,” said Donald. “She of course wanted us to learn. But she always made sure that we knew we were loved, and that she loved us. She always had a passion for teaching and you could see that in her every day.”
Donald eventually became a second grade teacher too, after working with Hayes during her senior year in high school.
“When I see my former students out I always try to give them a smile, or a big old hug if they’re willing,” said Donald. “I try to keep up with their lives… it’s never too late. I may pick up the tradition of sending them birthday cards.”
Some of Lois Hayes' former students on the difference she has made in their lives.
Sanders and Shrock said they find the details in Mrs. Hayes’ cards impressive, especially because Hayes remembers how old they are each year.
“I think it’s that she really shows you how dedicated she is to you and then, after you leave her class, it doesn’t end. She has really made a lifelong dedication to her students,” said Sanders.
“It’s always on time, which you can’t even say about most people. Even your own mom is sometimes late. But hers is always there, if not a day early,” Shrock added. “It’s just nice to know that someone is thinking about you and for a lot of people this might be the only card that they get, so I know it is extra special for many of her students.”
Hayes’ daughter, Natalie McKinley, 33, describes her mother as “selfless.”
“She tries to help other people before she would try to help herself,” said McKinley. “Her faith brings her to do this. It drives her to do good and to show love to other people.
When I was younger, it was just so normal for her to send these cards. Then when I got older and parents started telling me how their child was still getting a card in their 20s, I realized how special it was. I think it’s just so great, reaching out to people. You don’t get cards in the mail anymore,” said McKinley, who is the mother of a 5-year-old. “Some teachers don’t think it’s normal to get too involved with their kids… it takes a special teacher to do it.”
For the majority of Hayes’ 33-year teaching career, she taught second grade. Most of her time was spent in classrooms in Lexington, Miss., a place Hayes describes as “very much a small town. Friendly, and like one big family in a way.”
She learns which students got married recently and who has a baby on the way through word of mouth.
When neighborhood residents can’t help her track down students who have moved away, Hayes uses Facebook to find them.
“She sent me birthday cards, I can’t remember when it started, but she tracked me down all the years I was in Brazil, because I didn’t come back until I graduated from high school,” said Debbie Arnold Gyger, 52, who had Hayes as her fourth grade teacher in the late 1960s in Brazil where Hayes taught briefly after attending college.
“I just have very happy memories of her,” Gyger said. “She taught by example and showed she cared more than just teaching us facts.”
Now several of Hayes’ former students send her birthday cards, too.
“Some of my students write back, or even send pictures of their children, and tell me what’s going on in their lives and I always love that,” said Hayes. “It’s so fun to hear from them… it has been a joy to watch them grow up.”
Leave a Comment:
Truly a touching, sweet article.
I think hand written notes are one of the simplest,
yet wonderful way of talking to someone.
This lady revives the idea of a caring teacher. ♥
It's because she is "old school", a teacher who became a teacher because she loved the children and wanted to inspire them to learn. Teaching wasn't a vocation for her, it was her profession, her life's purpose. God knows she didn't do it for the pay or recognition. Congratulations Mrs. Hayes. You have succeeded. You have been and continue to be an inspiration to your students.
I come from a family of teachers. While I never acquired the ability myself (I have absolutely no patience), four members of my family taught for a combined 210 years in various public school systems. Mrs. Hayes' memory is overshadowed only by her heart, and she is an inspiration to me and to every life she touched in her career.
So nice to hear something positive about teachers, after all the bad reports in the news lately. There are more good, caring people than we think...or hear about in the news.
Wonderful!
A little sad, though, that a cool article about a sweet, thoughtful lady doesn't get nearly the comments it deserves!!
What an awesome teacher!!
My mom was a teacher. She loved her students too. The week before she died, students called from all over the U. S. Even though she was too weak to hold the phone to her ear, she listened and responded when she could. Some of her students were even part of the medical staff that made her last days as comfortable as possible. They all talked about how much she cared.
Teachers give so much to this society. They should be revered. More importantly, they should be compensated financially for their contribution. The expense of sending birthday cards to former students should NEVER be a concern for any retired teacher!!
Thank you Ms. Hayes!!
I am grateful for Ms. Hayes' example, and for the people who brought this story to light. Thank you.
I also am a retired school teacher from the great state of Mississippi. What Ms. Hayes is doing is just indescribable. I use facebook also to keep up with my former students. I am trying to track down as many as I possibly can. I would love for all of us to get together and share each others stories. Ms. Hayes, I commend you for what you are doing. May all teachers follow suit.
Ms. Hayes was my teecher. I am vary suprised that she still remembers my birthday after all these years. A vary speciel lady indeed!
Ms. Hayes was my faverite teecher. It still is such a suprise to recieve birthday cards from her. She is a truley specail person, and I am happy that she has taught me so good!
Obviously she did not teach you how to spell.
This put a big ol' smile on my face =) she is such a kind and caring teacher.
Times a million the world has no better person, Lois Hayes.
What a great story! My daughter is graduates in a few months from college and intends to become a first grade teacher. I hope that Mrs. Haynes' story inspires her to be an extra-ordinary teacher.
I really wish that everyone in America had at least one teacher who believed in them and inspired them.
We had a bus driver who remembered birthdays of all the kids on her bus. She'd be ready with a hug and a kiss for every one of us! Things have changed though, because nowadays she'd be thought of as some kind of criminal for touching the kids. What a shame. Bonny was special to all of us and drove kids in my family for over 25 consecutive years. The only time I can think of her not being cheerful, was if it snowed or one of us mentioned "snow", which she'd call a nasty word. She was especially loved by us kids who had it bad at home!
Such a beautiful and touching story among all those that are sad. This definitely brought a smile to my face and made my morning a little better!
I wish she was one of my teachers! I often got the teachers who openly hated their careers and often took it out on us kids.
I'm suprised nobody has sued, what with how crazy parents are getting about what teachers can and can't do with students.
I love this story! I'm a teacher and a huge proponent of sending thank you, birthday, "just because" cards. In fact, I felt so strongly about writing handwritten cards that I started a company that specializes in kid-friendly cards so that even the youngest kids can send their very own thank you/birthday cards to family and friends. Our cards have pre-printed, traceable messages, which means that kids as young as 4 or 5 can start getting in the habit of sending birthday, thank yous, etc.
Knowing a little history about the education system in many southern states, my spidey senses tingled when I saw the name of the school in the story, an Academy, and that it was established in 1965. This was about the time many of these states were forced by the federal government to integrate their public schools. To fight this forced integration, many private schools were opened, which weren't subject to federal law. A quick search of demographics of the school, about 93% white and 0% black, and the town of West MS, about 40% African American, plus some other ethnic minorities show the Academy may just be one of those private schools designed for the express purpose of educating white students exclusively - and may still be fulfilling that purpose nearly 50 years later! It's possible this shouldn't be such a feel-good story after all! There's an added irony that the reporter is an African American woman reporting about the nice teacher who began her career when that school was fairly new and continues her influence on her students long after they've graduated!